i really feeling tired... but i still trying my best...

well, i believe no one will ever read this because i rarely touch this blog.

i think this will be the best place for me to really voice out how i really feel...


i'm already having the 4th relationship and really want to make it work out.
but somehow, i already screwed it. i really don't know what's really going on and i really have not intention to make my partner feel that i do not care.

maybe this time round, i really doing something very wrong. maybe i should just give up on this relationship because it does not turn out good in any ways.

however, whenever i think that way, my another side of me will tell me not to give up.
not because he is rich or what, is because this time round i really want to treasure this relationship and want to make it works.

so... what should i do? i hate such feeling whereby thing does not go according to my way or it is because the person whom i want to be with is not the right one?

he is doubting me and i'm trying to prove that he's wrong. i don't like that and how can such way can prolong our relationship?

i really feeling tired whenever such things happened. being together for months and we seem like quarrel countless times. you're disappointed in me and keep telling me that you already lose your trust in me....

am i really so bad till need you to say in such a way? if that's the way, why do you still want to woo me right in the beginning?

i also want my courage back to prove that i can do it but... please don't keep saying that my action makes you getting more and more disappointed...

i been thinking, for the past few months, i been trying to do as much as i can. however, whenever there is something happened, you will only see my wrong. is that the right way?

i really want to continue... please don't let me want to give up.